I enjoyed this read - thank you. The content was somewhat relatable to me, but not entirely. I've never been on tiktok over an arbitrary rule I set for myself and a general desire to spend a minimal amount of time on social media, but I am aware of the videos you described, specifically the "you might be autistic if..." videos (mainly because I know there is a lot of controversy around them). I, as an adult man, was recently diagnosed with autism. My journey had absolutely nothing to do with social media (at least not directly). A friend of mine, who has a career working with autistic children, casually asked me one night "do you ever think that you may be autistic?" At that point I was completely unaware of the whole neurodivergant movement, to include all the things being said about it on social media apps like tiktok and instagram (I am on IG, but the algorithms never thought I may be ND or Autistic). However, my very close friend did think so - and when I confided in my literally only autistic friend, she said she thought the same thing (that she has thought for a while that I may be on the spectrum). So I scheduled a neuropsychological evaluation and walked away with three diagnoses (which, after the initial shock and identity struggle, proved to explain a whole lot about myself and has helped me pinpoint/name problems in my life and, thus, start developing strategies for how to address said problems). I don't know if any of this would have happened if autism and ND weren't such prevalent topics on social media. In general, I think it's good that they are prevalent as it's good for the autism community to have a voice, but I also agree with your therapist in that it can be dangerous. I don't think it's a good idea to make videos that essentially diagnose the viewer ("hey, do you do this one thing and feel this one way and think these thoughts, well there's a good chance you're autistic"). That sort of video is completely different than ("hey, this is what you think autism is, but I'm autistic and this is my lived experience, which is different than the stereotype"). I think my issue with the former type of video is that it has kind of a recruiter vibe to it that just seems inappropriate. During my journey to better understand what autism is, I've been trying to read some books, most of which - so far - have been not so great. BUT, Neurotribes is exceptional. I would recommend just about everyone read it. So if you're looking for more of a deep dive into the history of autism, that's the book for you (to get a taste of it, you can first listen to the author speak about the book on Dan Harmon's old podcast "Harmontown." The title of the episode is - unfortunately - "Neurotitties", but please don't judge the episode by that rather cringe title).
Get out of my brain, Emily. I've been on this teeter totter for over a year. I don't do TikTok, but Facebook certainly thinks I'm autistic. Similarly to you, I got an ADHD diagnosis as an adult (and had similar issues) and I certainly have some tendencies that overlap with autism. I just keep seeing relatable content about being autistic and being like, "maybe?" Especially because of the things I see in common between myself and friends of mine who have been diagnosed with autism as an adult. Or reading novels written by women who were diagnosed with autism as adults, and feeling like I have a lot in common with their main characters who are also women with autism. And I have had that same conversation with my therapist. Neither of us think that I'm autistic. Except sometimes I'm like, "Maybe?" But then it's back to "I definitely don't have autism."... "But what if the reason I make almost *too* much eye contact is because I started masking at a really young age and didn't even realize it?" ... "No, that's ridiculous, I don't have autism. I don't misconstrue things people say that are subtle/sarcastic or have a hard time reading facial expressions."... "But I do have a hard time controlling my own facial expressions and tone of voice. I'm usually capable of doing it, but it takes a lot of energy and is incredibly draining."... It just goes on and on in a circle. But like 90% of the time, I'm certain I'm not. And then I'll read something or see something so highly relatable to me that I start questioning again. And then I dwell on the repercussions of incorrectly (if that's what is happening) way overdiagnosing autism. Or the repercussions of underdiagnosing autism. Or what if there's some OTHER thing that is meaningfully different from autism, but that we are currently conflating with autism? And by conflating the two, we are harming our ability to effectively understand either? Ultimately, though, I think I've basically embraced that I'm neurodivergent. I definitely have ADHD and maybe some other things that aren't totally diagnosable, but are related to the fact that my brain works differently from how the average person (whatever that means) expects brains to work.
I believe that the multitasking mental energy that parenting requires rewires your brain for a few years.
I also believe that this reaction eases/resets when the parenting calms down.
- a theory from a non-ADHD non-autistic person who has felt like her mind is exploding at work and parenting but knows that she is not ADHD or autistic and wishes she was a waterfall
I was on Tiktok for a month this year but my For You was never anything good. I hated the whole thing so much I deleted my account. But IG definitely knows how to serve things to me. I had a week period I was sure I had Ehlers Danlos and deep dived into that and while I’m pretty sure I have some hyper mobility, after reading the diagnostic criteria, I am not EDS. I’ve been dealing with vertigo for 7+ years so I tend to go down rabbit holes of trying to figure it out and the algorithm has given interesting leads. As for ADHD I do tend to think I have it but don’t know if it’s worth getting a proper diagnosis. (Also, the whole motherhood rewiring the brain as another person above stated...very valid thoughts! I’ve felt like my brain broke after having my son 8.5 years ago) I’ve been skeptical about some of it because I do wonder how much our phones have contributed to it. And not necessarily our phones but social media and the constant need for distraction. Again, thanks for covering some of these topics.
I love every part of this, including the crayon self portrait and listening to Asa and you talking about living waterfalls and spiders.
I enjoyed this read - thank you. The content was somewhat relatable to me, but not entirely. I've never been on tiktok over an arbitrary rule I set for myself and a general desire to spend a minimal amount of time on social media, but I am aware of the videos you described, specifically the "you might be autistic if..." videos (mainly because I know there is a lot of controversy around them). I, as an adult man, was recently diagnosed with autism. My journey had absolutely nothing to do with social media (at least not directly). A friend of mine, who has a career working with autistic children, casually asked me one night "do you ever think that you may be autistic?" At that point I was completely unaware of the whole neurodivergant movement, to include all the things being said about it on social media apps like tiktok and instagram (I am on IG, but the algorithms never thought I may be ND or Autistic). However, my very close friend did think so - and when I confided in my literally only autistic friend, she said she thought the same thing (that she has thought for a while that I may be on the spectrum). So I scheduled a neuropsychological evaluation and walked away with three diagnoses (which, after the initial shock and identity struggle, proved to explain a whole lot about myself and has helped me pinpoint/name problems in my life and, thus, start developing strategies for how to address said problems). I don't know if any of this would have happened if autism and ND weren't such prevalent topics on social media. In general, I think it's good that they are prevalent as it's good for the autism community to have a voice, but I also agree with your therapist in that it can be dangerous. I don't think it's a good idea to make videos that essentially diagnose the viewer ("hey, do you do this one thing and feel this one way and think these thoughts, well there's a good chance you're autistic"). That sort of video is completely different than ("hey, this is what you think autism is, but I'm autistic and this is my lived experience, which is different than the stereotype"). I think my issue with the former type of video is that it has kind of a recruiter vibe to it that just seems inappropriate. During my journey to better understand what autism is, I've been trying to read some books, most of which - so far - have been not so great. BUT, Neurotribes is exceptional. I would recommend just about everyone read it. So if you're looking for more of a deep dive into the history of autism, that's the book for you (to get a taste of it, you can first listen to the author speak about the book on Dan Harmon's old podcast "Harmontown." The title of the episode is - unfortunately - "Neurotitties", but please don't judge the episode by that rather cringe title).
Get out of my brain, Emily. I've been on this teeter totter for over a year. I don't do TikTok, but Facebook certainly thinks I'm autistic. Similarly to you, I got an ADHD diagnosis as an adult (and had similar issues) and I certainly have some tendencies that overlap with autism. I just keep seeing relatable content about being autistic and being like, "maybe?" Especially because of the things I see in common between myself and friends of mine who have been diagnosed with autism as an adult. Or reading novels written by women who were diagnosed with autism as adults, and feeling like I have a lot in common with their main characters who are also women with autism. And I have had that same conversation with my therapist. Neither of us think that I'm autistic. Except sometimes I'm like, "Maybe?" But then it's back to "I definitely don't have autism."... "But what if the reason I make almost *too* much eye contact is because I started masking at a really young age and didn't even realize it?" ... "No, that's ridiculous, I don't have autism. I don't misconstrue things people say that are subtle/sarcastic or have a hard time reading facial expressions."... "But I do have a hard time controlling my own facial expressions and tone of voice. I'm usually capable of doing it, but it takes a lot of energy and is incredibly draining."... It just goes on and on in a circle. But like 90% of the time, I'm certain I'm not. And then I'll read something or see something so highly relatable to me that I start questioning again. And then I dwell on the repercussions of incorrectly (if that's what is happening) way overdiagnosing autism. Or the repercussions of underdiagnosing autism. Or what if there's some OTHER thing that is meaningfully different from autism, but that we are currently conflating with autism? And by conflating the two, we are harming our ability to effectively understand either? Ultimately, though, I think I've basically embraced that I'm neurodivergent. I definitely have ADHD and maybe some other things that aren't totally diagnosable, but are related to the fact that my brain works differently from how the average person (whatever that means) expects brains to work.
My childhood memories of you are deeply non-autistic 😂 i had to delete tik tok because it was definitely bad for my mental health!!! Crazy addicting
I believe that the multitasking mental energy that parenting requires rewires your brain for a few years.
I also believe that this reaction eases/resets when the parenting calms down.
- a theory from a non-ADHD non-autistic person who has felt like her mind is exploding at work and parenting but knows that she is not ADHD or autistic and wishes she was a waterfall
I was on Tiktok for a month this year but my For You was never anything good. I hated the whole thing so much I deleted my account. But IG definitely knows how to serve things to me. I had a week period I was sure I had Ehlers Danlos and deep dived into that and while I’m pretty sure I have some hyper mobility, after reading the diagnostic criteria, I am not EDS. I’ve been dealing with vertigo for 7+ years so I tend to go down rabbit holes of trying to figure it out and the algorithm has given interesting leads. As for ADHD I do tend to think I have it but don’t know if it’s worth getting a proper diagnosis. (Also, the whole motherhood rewiring the brain as another person above stated...very valid thoughts! I’ve felt like my brain broke after having my son 8.5 years ago) I’ve been skeptical about some of it because I do wonder how much our phones have contributed to it. And not necessarily our phones but social media and the constant need for distraction. Again, thanks for covering some of these topics.